Decisions and Values
If you have trouble making a decision, one way to move past that point is to be very clear about your values. The values you hold will help steer you in the direction of that which is most important. Obviously then, an important step is to be clear about your values. While you may discuss and gain insight from others, only you may know what you value and hold dear.
It is important to note that you have more than one value operating in your life. In most everything you experience, you will have several of your core values come into play. In order to make your decisions easier, go through a values clarification exercise with yourself. Everyone has a hierarchy of values and that hierarchy will guide you in your decisions.
What do you value? Do you value family? Personal Growth? Money? Influence? Contribution? What do you value? A person who values personal growth and family will make different decisions than a person who values influence and money. Neither needs to be right or wrong, you just need to listen to your heart and understand what your needs are that bring you satisfaction. From the understanding of your value needs you can ascertain what is important to you. By aligning your decisions with your values, you will be able to focus on those things which are most important to you. By being in touch with and focusing on those things which are of utmost importance to you will make decisions that are authentic to and for you.
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Changing your hierarchy of values
By understanding what values we currently hold and having an idea of the relative importance we place on those values aids us in making decisions that are authentically ours. We will have a sense of peace in our decision making process as we make decisions that are congruent with our values and beliefs. However, while as important as this is, it only allows us to interpret our values from who we have been and not who we might want to become.
Imagine that you sit back and visualize the “ultimate” you as you interpret that today. What does this person look like mentally, emotionally and spiritually? What does this person value? What are their hierarchy of values? What beliefs do about themselves, others and the world would this person hold in order to be the best person they could be? How are they different from your current set of beliefs and values and the order of importance on which your place them?
Now you have the opportunity to map out the direction you wish to go. As you see differences in the way you imagine the best version of you would think and therefore act, you have the opportunity to change those beliefs or change the order of importance of those values. By changing the order of your personal values in relation to how you process your decisions will change the way you make decisions and ultimately your life. You may find that the changes are seemingly small at first but over time will have a tremendous impact. For instance, the person who values relationships and connectivity over health may run themselves ragged trying to build and maintain that sense of connection with others. While a person who values their health over relationships will make sure they have proper rest, diet and exercise so that they won’t be run down and prone to illness, injury and poor decisions made from a sense of fatigue which could harm their relationships or even shorten their life. Both are great values, but the order has an importance as well.
Decide what you currently feel is the best version of you, you could possibly be. Decide what values would be in place and in what order those values exist for that person. Start making decisions based upon that hierarchal set of values and see how your decisions and your life evolve!
One of the significant ways to make change in your life is to change the overriding belief system utilized to evaluate the circumstance. We can create change both on an intellectual level as well as an emotional level by altering how we engage or respond to a situation. If I find myself reacting to a situation, I can remind myself that I am the one who owns my emotions. I am the source of my thoughts and feelings. No one can change how I feel about me or anything else unless I agree.
This is a very powerful perspective and one that can be easier to write than to institute as many of us use people outside of ourselves as points of reference in determining our own worth and identity. The end result is that we feel we need someone else’s approval about us to feel good about who we were are. This does not necessarily have to be so. As we begin to see that we own our emotions, then even when someone or some circumstance upsets us, we no longer hold the other person responsible for the way we feel. We own our responses and thus change them as we see fit. Anger may still be anger, but now we feel anger because we know we choose to. This is a significant step in our progress. Once we know we are the source of our emotional response we can then work on choosing the emotion response that best serves us in that situation.
Another way to change is to alter our hierarchal value system. We have a system of values that we use to evaluate our lives and what happens therein. If we value freedom as our highest value, then depending on how we define freedom to ourselves, we will determine subconsciously what our thoughts and actions will be. Should we change our applied values in any given situation, we can change how we react and respond to that set of circumstances. If we were to engage the value of contribution and then let value be the higher over riding value in that situation, we could then over look petty grievances and focus on how we can the person or organization be better We will not be as caught up in rejection or resentment as we will have focused our mindset on contributing. We will then, because we are in service to others, feels a deep seated joy. Should there come a time when we feel it is proper to leave the organization or situation, we can do so feeling that we have acted properly. The key is that you control how you feel. Only you.
Evaluate Your Evaluations
Making wise and proper distinctions and evaluations is critical to achieving what you want in life. Making those distinctions and evaluations requires observation, thought and perspective. Following through on those evaluations requires resolve, intent and desire.
The evaluations we make are formed from the distinctions we make about what we value and what we feel works. Two people may have experienced the same set of circumstances but one will make one set of distinctions based upon previous experiences, their values, their fears arrive at a certain evaluation. The other person may see the exact same thing and make different distinctions and therefore formulate a different evaluation.
Which is right? Both are to a point. But the one with the widest perspective, the one who is able to factor and weigh in properly the greatest number of variables will make the superior distinctions. This ability to make superior distinctions based upon their values, their perspective, wisdom and goals will cause them to make better decisions and thereby create a better life experience.
A report released today by the Greensboro Regional Realtors Association stated home sales jumped 12.2 percent compared to the last three months of 2010.
Over the same time period, however, prices declined 5.1 percent.
The average price of an existing home in the area was $141,828 based on those sales.
Source: Greensboro Regional Realtors Association
Singer Beyoncé and rapper Jay-Z have yet to confirm reports they welcomed a baby girl this weekend, but celebrities from Rihanna to Gwyneth Paltrow to Beyoncé’s sister have taken to Twitter with their congratulations.
Beyoncé Knowles gave birth by C-section Saturday night in a private wing of Manhattan’s Lenox Hill Hospital, according to celebrity websites and media reports. Her husband Jay-Z, whose real name is Shawn Carter, was said to be by her side.
The baby’s name is Blue Ivy Carter, which quickly began trending on Twitter thanks to a wave of tweets from the couple’s famous friends over the weekend.
Solange Knowles, Beyoncé’s sister and also a singer, tweeted that her niece is “the most beautiful girl in the world.” Actress Paltrow, a longtime friend of the couple, posted the message: “Welcome to the world Blue! We love you already.”
Fellow pop star Rihanna, a protege of Jay-Z, tweeted: “Welcome to the world princess Carter! Love Aunty Rih.” Others who shared congratulations on the birth ranged from hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons to fellow rapper Sean (Diddy) Combs.
Beyoncé and Jay-Z began dating in 2002 and married in 2008. The couple do not discuss their relationship and have never officially announced their marriage, though media uncovered their marriage licence. Beyoncé confirmed her pregnancy at the MTV Video Music Awards in August.
The vacant R.J. Reynolds Building could become the newest hotel in the portfolio of Quaintance-Weaver Restaurants & Hotels.
The Greensboro-based company announced Thursday it is beginning an in-depth exploration of what it would take to convert the iconic office building in downtown Winston-Salem into an upscale hotel. It’s a collaborative effort with R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. .R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. Latest from The Business Journals A look at the historic Reynolds BuildingReynolds Building could become a Quaintance-Weaver hotelNYC-based Hughes Hubbard & Reed will open office in Kansas City Follow this company ., the building’s owner that moved workers out of the building at 401 N. Main St. in 2009.
“It’s just such a glamorous, glorious, wonderful, chillingly beautiful building,” said Dennis Quaintance, CEO of Quaintance-Weaver. “It’s our objective to celebrate all of this historic, iconic fabric …
The Business Journal
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Fannie Mae, banks halt foreclosures for the holidays
By Les Christie@CNNMoneyDecember 1, 2011: 4:11 PM ET
NEW YORK (CNNMoney) — Happy holidays struggling homeowners! Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and several large mortgage lenders have pledged not to foreclose on delinquent borrowers during the Christmas season.
For homeowners with loans through Fannie Mae (FNMA, Fortune 500) and Freddie Mac (FMCC, Fortune 500), the moratorium will run from Dec. 19 to Jan. 2. During this time, legal and administrative proceedings for evictions may continue, but families will be allowed to stay in their homes, Fannie said in a statement.
“No family should have to give up their home during this holiday season,” said Terry Edwards, an executive vice president for Fannie Mae.
Among some of the major banks that offer mortgage loans, Chase (JPM, Fortune 500) Mortgage said it will not evict anyone between Dec. 22 and Jan. 2. Wells Fargo (WFC, Fortune 500) will also suspend evictions during that period, but will not shut down its eviction machinery entirely.
The bank said it will observe the moratorium on foreclosed properties in its own portfolio but for loans it services for other lenders “foreclosure-related actions may still occur.”
Bank of America (BAC, Fortune 500) said that it would “avoid foreclosure sales or displacement of homeowners or tenants around the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.”
Why Fannie/Freddie execs get paid a lot
However, that policy only applies to loans the bank itself owns. Like Wells Fargo, it will also honor the wishes of the owners of the loans it services, which could mean moving forward with certain foreclosures.
A holiday halt on foreclosures by the major mortgage lenders could affect tens of thousands of homeowners. An average of 89,000 foreclosure auctions a month have been scheduled this year, according to RealtyTrac. Once a home has gone through that process, eviction is the next step.
There could be a small handful of borrowers who might benefit permanently from the suspension, according to Daren Blomquist, a spokesman for RealtyTrac.
Sometimes, albeit very rarely, a Christmas miracle will occur where a borrower finds the cash to get current on their mortgage again and keep their home.
For the overwhelming majority of borrowers in default, however, “[i]t’s a temporary reprieve, a symbolic gesture to help people out during the holidays,” said Blomquist.
Then, come the New Year, everyone gets back to business, including mortgage lenders.
First Published: December 1, 2011: 3:57 PM ET
No matter where we are, or where we’re going, Thanksgiving is a time to pause and reflect on what we value most in life. As we look forward to next week’s holiday, I want you to know how much I appreciate our relationship and the privilege of serving you.
My thanks and very best wishes for a bountiful holiday season filled with happiness.
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Your mind is set on your target, your mission, your goal… you have your plan and your resolve is strong…. Then you implement your plan and things do not go as you had hoped! What do you do now? Do you figure your plan must have been wrong, that you chose the wrong goal? No, not necessarily! More than likely you simply ran into what most everyone runs into…you are accountable for your own plans and actions but there may have been other factors that either were not considered or could not have been foreseen when you made your plans. What do you do now? You keep on!
Don’t give up because you run into resistance or the events do not turn out as you planned. Do not give up if the results do not come in the time line you originally imagined. The key is to not give up! Look at your goals and actions in light of the current data and see if you had correctly assessed the situation. There can be a tendency here to second guess yourself but be cautious in that regard. Your original plans may still be entirely valid. You may just need to stick with it a bit longer to see the results. You may see a need to revamp some aspect of your plan in the light of new information. This is perfectly fine as well.
Remember that while you have one goal, one mission, there may be a hundred ways to get there. Know what it is you want to accomplish and be set on that goal. Have it clearly in your mind and know that you will do everything in your power to see that idea come to fruition. How you get there may be subject to change. You may discover an easier way. You may run into someone with whom you can partner who shares the same or close to the same goal and you can help each other. You may find new technology that helps to make the process easier. You may run into a roadblock that has to accounted for so that you can continue your journey. The key is to keep the end in mind while paying attention to the process of the journey as well
There is an apt metaphor regarding two trees. The mighty oak is strong and stalwart. Its branches are strong and immovable. It has a beauty that comes from its size and strength that makes it stand out. It is unbendable. But it is this same inability to bend that can make it susceptible to being blown over in a storm. The pine tree or the willow tree however, are flexible. Its limbs move with the winds and change as the winds change. In doing so, its trunk remains steadfast but it branches go with the energy of the wind.
In attaining your goal, you must be both the oak and the willow. Make sure your roots are deep so that you have depth of purpose, resolve and insight. Make sure your trunk is sound, that your reasons and intent are strong and steadfast but also be the willow. Be flexble to change and to new ideas. Do not disgard your plans entirely but always look for better ways to achieve your ends.
Be the willow and the oak!